How often are you asked for advice? How good do you think your advice usually is? What kind of advice are you most comfortable giving—for example, about relationships or about work? What kind of advice do you most often need?
advise : to tell someone your opinion about what he should do or how he should act in a particular situation • analyze : to study or examine something in detail, in order to discover more about it • appreciate : to recognize or understand that something is valuable or important • bill : a request for payment of money owed, or the piece of paper on which it is written • child abuse : when adults intentionally treat children in a cruel or violent way • claim : to say that something is true or is a fact, although you cannot prove it and other people might not believe it • complain : to say that something is wrong or not satisfactory • crash : to have an accident, especially one which damages a vehicle • cruel : extremely unkind and unpleasant and causing pain intentionally • damage : to harm or spoil something • demand : to ask for something forcefully, in a way that shows that a refusal is not expected • deserve : to have earned or to be given something because of the way you have behaved or the qualities you have • effective : successful or achieving the results that you want • engaged : having formally agreed to marry • equally : to the same degree or level, or into amounts or parts that are the same • expenses : something which causes you to spend money • fair : treating someone in a way that is right or reasonable, or treating a group of people equally and not allowing personal opinions to influence your judgment • fire : to remove someone from their job, either because they have done something wrong or badly, or as a way of saving the cost of employing them • full-time : done for the whole of a working week • gold digger : someone, usually a woman, who tries to sexually attract a rich person, usually a man, in order to obtain presents or money • headquarters : the main offices of an organization such as the army, police or a business company • hood : the metal cover over the part of a car where the engine is • jealous : unhappy and angry because someone has something or someone you want, or because you think they might take something or someone that you love away from you • love triangle : a situation where two people both love a third person • method : a particular way of doing something • observe : to watch carefully the way something happens or the way someone does something, especially in order to learn more about it • persuade : to make someone do or believe something by giving them a good reason to do it or by talking to them and making them believe it • present : something which you are given, without asking for it, on a special occasion, especially to show friendship, or to say thank you • pressure : when someone tries to make someone else do something by arguing, persuading, etc • pretend : to behave as if something is true when you know that it is not, especially in order to deceive people or as a game • qualified : having suitable experience or formal qualifications • refuse : to say that you will not do or accept something • repair : to put something that is damaged, broken or not working correctly, back into good condition or make it work again • replace : If you replace something broken, damaged or lost, you provide a new one • responsible for : to be the person who caused something to happen, especially something bad • ruined : destroyed or spoilt • sold out : when all of the supply that you have of something has been bought • split : divide into two or more parts, especially along a particular line • spoiled : describes a child who has been allowed to behave exactly as it wants to, usually so that it becomes selfish and lacking in care and respect for other people • treat : to behave towards someone or deal with something in a particular way • wrap : to cover or enclose something with paper, cloth or other material • wreck : to destroy or badly damage something
Situation 1: Neighbor giving fruit
I am a foreigner living in Taiwan. When I started living in my new apartment, my neighbor was very friendly and helped me quite a bit. Recently, he has been bringing me fruit. At first, I thought it was very nice of him, but now it has started bothering me. That’s because every time he gives the fruit to me, he’ll invite me to visit his home for a chat and to teach some English to his children (“來我們家玩，順便教小朋友一點英文”). I really appreciate his gifts of fruit, but I am beginning to feel pressure to teach English to his children, which is not something I’m interested in doing.
Do you think the neighbor is really trying to pressure the writer into teaching English to his children? Did the writer do anything wrong? Do you think it’s all right to use gifts to pressure someone to do something for you? Have you ever done this? If you had a foreigner as a neighbor, how would you treat him differently from your other neighbors?What should the writer do? What should the neighbor do?
Situation 2: Problem student
I am an American who arrived in Taiwan about six months ago. I teach English to adults at a language school and was really enjoying it until recently. That’s when a student in one of my conversation classes started complaining about me. First, she spoke to the secretaries, telling them that she didn’t think I was qualified to teach English. Then, she talked to my boss, telling him that my teaching methods were not effective. She persuaded him to come observe my class. After he did and told her everything seemed fine, she went to the school’s headquarters to demand that they change teachers for the class. Now people from the office are asking what I did to make a student dislike me so much. I really don’t know, and the strangest thing is that when this student is in class, she talks a lot and seems to enjoy herself. I’m worried that I will lose the class, or even get fired if she doesn’t stop complaining.
Why did the student seem to be enjoying class even while complaining about it? Have you ever complained about a teacher? If you had a teacher whose teaching methods you didn’t agree with, what would you do? Has someone ever complained about how you did something? How did you feel and what did you do? What should the writer do?
Situation 3: Wrecked car
I recently bought a BMW and let Maggie, the Taiwanese girl I had just started dating, drive it. Unfortunately, we were both drunk and she crashed my car into a wall. The hood of the car was ruined, and when I took it to the car repair shop, they told me it would cost NT$30,000 to replace. Since Maggie was responsible for the damage, I asked her to pay for the repairs. She got angry, because she didn’t think I should ask a girlfriend to pay when it was an accident. She also said I shouldn’t have let her drive when she was drunk. A few days later, she gave me NT$15,000, and when I asked her when she could give me the rest, she said that the six times she had let me have sex with her should be enough to pay for the rest—she said that NT$3000 for each time made a total of NT$18,000.
What is a car owner supposed to do in a situation like this? What about the person who wrecked the car? What did the writer and Maggie do wrong? Have you ever damaged something that belonged to a friend or someone in your family? What did you do? Has a friend or someone in your family damaged something that belonged to you? If you were Maggie, what would you do? What if you were the writer? What should the writer do now? What about Maggie?
Situation 4: Christmas gift for spoiled kid
I’m British, but am married to a Taiwanese woman. My problem is that my wife spoils our son terribly. He knows that all he has to do is cry and scream and she’ll give him whatever he wants. It’s worst at Christmas time, when he’ll demand some very expensive present that he doesn’t deserve at all. This year I decided to teach him a lesson. He wanted a Nintendo Wii, so I pretended that I was going to give him one. I bought a Wii, but took it out of the box and gave it a friend’s kids. Then I filled the box with some rocks and wrapped it up like a real Christmas present. On Christmas morning, my son was so excited because he thought he was really going to get a Wii. When he unwrapped it and found only rocks inside the box, he started crying…and I started laughing. He cried and screamed all day, especially when my wife tried to go out and buy him one but found out they were all sold out. Now my son refuses to speak to me. My wife is angry at me too, saying that I am cruel and that what I did was a kind of child abuse.
Was there a better way for the writer to treat his son? How spoiled were you as a child? How did you behave when you didn’t get what you wanted from your parents? How much do you, or do you think you will, spoil your own children? If a child is already spoiled, what should be done? What should the writer do now?
Situation 5: Couple splitting expenses
I am a Taiwanese woman who lives with her Canadian boyfriend. We’re engaged to get married next year. I’m still going to school but work part-time and make about NT$20,000 per month. My boyfriend works full-time and makes around NT$50,000 per month. Even though he earns more money than I do, we split our expenses equally, because he claims that he has more bills of his own to pay than I do. This is true, but his bills include things like a new car, new notebook computer, and his trips back home that he takes twice a year (he always travels to other countries as well on these trips). My mother has never worked, and neither does my married older sister. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend, he got angry and said, “What are you, a gold digger?” I’m not a gold digger, but to be honest, I’ve always wanted to be a full-time mother and housewife after I got married. What should I do now?
What would have been a fair way to split the expenses? How would you want to split expenses if you lived together with a boyfriend or girlfriend? What about on a date? Do you, or do you plan to, work after marriage? Could you accept being (or your spouse being) a househusband? What should the writer do now?
Situation 6: Girlfriend with boyfriend
I met a girl named Nancy whom I was really attracted to. Even though she had a boyfriend who was studying abroad, she seemed open to going out with me so that’s what we did. To make a long story short, I fell in love with Nancy and I thought she loved me too. Recently, her boyfriend came back to Taiwan. I hoped that when he did, he and Nancy would break up, but that’s not what happened. She’s still with her boyfriend, but secretly meets me when she can. When I ask her what’s she going to do, she just says, “I don’t know”. I feel very jealous because she’s still with her boyfriend, and don’t want to be part of a love triangle. Still, I don’t want to give up on being with her.
What is Nancy probably thinking? What would you do if you were in Nancy’s situation? How about the writer’s? Could you accept being the lover of someone who already had a boyfriend or girlfriend? What about of someone who was married? What should the writer do?
