Conversation course at the Foreign Service Institute

April 11, 2008

What type of lover are you?

Filed under: Uncategorized — minimax @ 3:41 pm

 

admire : to respect and approve of someone or their behavior, or to find someone or something attractive and pleasant to look at  • advisor : someone whose job is to give an opinion about what to do in a particular situation  • approach : to come near or nearer to something or someone in space, time, quality or amount  • argue : to speak angrily to someone, telling them that you disagree with them  • articulate : able to express thoughts and feelings easily and clearly, or showing this quality  • assistant : someone who helps someone else to do a job  • athlete : a person who is very good at sports or physical exercise, especially one who competes in organized events  • avoid : to stay away from someone or something, or prevent something from happening or not allow yourself to do something  • candid : truthful and honest, especially about something difficult or painful  • circle : a group of people with family, work or social connections  • compliment : to praise or express admiration for someone  • confident : having the quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future  • design : the way in which something is planned and made  • diligent : careful and using a lot of effort  • dress : to wear a particular type of clothes  • effect : the result of a particular influence  • emotional : having and expressing strong feelings  • energetic : having the power and ability to be physically and mentally active  • exaggerate : to make something seem larger, more important, better or worse than it really is  • excel : to be extremely good at something  • facial expression : the look on someone’s face, showing what they feel or think  • handicraft : a skilled activity in which something is made in a traditional way with the hands rather than being produced by machines in a factory, or an object made by such an activity  • make a judgment : to form, give or have as an opinion, or to decide about something or someone, especially after thinking carefully  • ordinary : not different or special or unexpected in any way; usual  • outstanding : excellent; clearly very much better than what is usual  • participate : to take part in or become involved in an activity  • practical : relating to experience, reality or action rather than ideas or imagination  • prove : to show a particular result after a period of time  • refuse : to say that you will not do or accept something  • regret : a feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong or about a mistake that you have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better  • variety show : a type of entertainment which includes several separate short performances, such as singing, dancing, magic tricks and telling jokes

 

 

 

 

01 Do you usually enjoy meeting new people?

 

Why or why not? What kinds of people are you most interested in meeting? How often do you approach a stranger and start up a conversation? How do you usually start a conversation with someone you don’t know?

 

 

 

 

02 In your circle of friends, are you usually the person whom others usually ask when they need some kind of information?

 

What would you say you are most knowledgeable about? What subject would you most like to know more about? Why?

 

 

 

 

03 Are you usually candid about what you are thinking when asked?

 

Why or why not? What kinds of things would you never tell anyone? Do you know anyone who is very candid—maybe too candid?

04 Do you often say things without thinking about what effect they might have?

 

Have you ever said something that you really regretted later? Why did you say it?

 

 

 

 

05 Do you avoid doing things when you don’t feel confident about your ability?

 

What is an example of something you do that you don’t feel confident about? What do you feel most confident about?

 

 

 

 

06 Do you often get very emotional trying to prove you’re right?

 

Do you feel upset when other people think you are wrong? How about if they prove you are wrong? How often do you get into arguments? What do you most often argue about?

 

 

 

 

07 Do many people like to talk to you about their feelings and problems?

 

How good a listener do you think you are? Do you think you can usually give good advice to people? When you have your own problems, whom do you like to talk to? Why?

 

 

 

 

08 Do you enjoy playing sports or exercising?

 

How often do you exercise? What are your favorite sports to play? How about to watch? Do you have any favorite athletes? How good an athlete are you? What sports are you best at?

 

 

 

 

09 Do you dislike people who ask too many questions?

 

Are you this type of person? Can you describe a person like this, and how you felt about him or her? When somebody asks you many questions, will you answer all of them?

 

 

 

 

10 Are variety shows your favorite type of TV program?

 

How often do you watch variety shows? Do you have a favorite variety show host? What type of TV program is your favorite?

11 In a group of people, do you enjoy playing the role of advisor or assistant, rather than the leader?

 

Why? Can you describe the role you play in your circle of friends? Who do you think is the leader? Have you ever been the leader in a group of people at school or work?

 

 

 

 

12 Do you refuse to give up trying to do something if you really like it, even if it’s very difficult?

 

What’s an example of something that you either gave up doing because it was too difficult, or refused to give up doing even though it was very difficult? Is there anything that would make you give up trying to improve your English?

 

 

 

 

13 Do you like participating in group activities?

 

Why or why not? What type of group activities do you most enjoy? What activities do you prefer to do with just one friend? How about on your own? Why?

 

 

 

 

14 Are you usually very careful to avoid causing problems?

 

Have you ever caused a big problem because you were not careful enough? How careful a person do you think you are in general?

 

 

 

 

15 Are you careful to avoid making judgments about people?

 

Have you ever judged a person wrongly? Has anyone ever judged you wrongly?

 

 

 

 

16 Do you pay little attention to how you dress?

 

How would you describe the way you dress? Where do you get most of your clothes? 

 

 

 

 

17 Do you find handicrafts boring?

 

Do you know how to do any handicrafts? What are some of your hobbies? Do your friends share your hobbies?

18 Do you often misunderstand people because you don’t pay close enough attention?

 

Has anything serious happened because you didn’t listen carefully?

 

 

 

 

19 Do you prefer designs that use many different colors together, rather than just one or two?

 

What is your favorite color? What colors do you dislike? What designs—for example, a building or a product—do you admire?

 

 

 

 

20 Do you easily cry when you hear about or see something sad?

 

When was the last time you cried? Do you enjoy watching sad movies or TV programs?

 

 

 

 

21 Do you usually sleep so deeply that it is difficult to wake you up?

 

How do you usually wake up? Can you usually remember what you dreamed about when you wake up?

 

 

 

 

22 Are you a loud, energetic talker?

 

Has anyone ever told you that you talk too loudly? What conversation topics do you most enjoy talking about?

 

 

 

 

23 Are your facial expressions often exaggerated?

 

Do you think people can usually understand how you are feeling by looking at your facial expressions? Has anyone ever complimented you on the way you smile? Do people think you look scary when you are angry?

 

 

 

 

24 Are you very practical about your future?

 

What are some of the things you are doing now to prepare for your future? What are your biggest hopes for your future?

 

 

 

 

25 Do you usually keep a smile on your face even when you feel unhappy?

 

Do you usually try to keep your true feelings hidden? Why? When you are in a bad mood, how do you usually show it?

26 In your circle of friends, are you considered ordinary, rather than outstanding?

 

In your circle of friends, who is considered the most outstanding? What do you consider to be the most outstanding thing about you? Do your friends agree? Is it important to you to stand out from other people?

 

 

 

 

27 Are you usually satisfied to do tasks just well enough to be acceptable without really excelling?

 

Why or why not? Was this true when you were a student? Are there some things that you try to do perfectly?

 

 

 

 

28 Do you think you are an articulate person?

 

Why do you think so? Do you hope to become more articulate? Do you know anybody who is very articulate?

 

 

 

 

29 Do you avoid crying in front of other people, no matter what?

 

When was the last time someone else saw you crying? Do you often cry when you are alone? Do you think it is all right for guys to cry in front of other people? How would you feel if your lover cried in front of you?

 

 

 

 

30 Are you more diligent than most people?

 

If you are, where do you think you learned to do this? Do you ever think you work too hard? Has anyone ever called you lazy?

 

 

 

 

Type A : Type As are ambitious, and unwilling to fall behind. Others often think that Type As enjoy bullying others because of their aggressiveness. The most compatible partner for Type As is someone who can continually provide direction and advice, and who is highly intelligent.

 

Type B : Type Bs have highly aggressive personalities, and pursue their ideals with great determination and willingness to struggle heroically to attain those ideals. The most compatible lover for Type Bs is someone who is kind and considerate, and who is willing to make his or her lover the center of his or her world.

 

Type C : Type Cs are generally men, with a heroic air, in addition to being frank and straightforward. A person who also speak directly what’s on their mind is most suited to being a Type C person’s lover.

 

Type D : Since Type Ds are very cheerful and energetic, they are very popular and well-liked by everyone. The best lover for Type Ds is someone from their circle of friends who they know well and have come to trust. This lover should be someone who is easygoing and lets Type Ds keep their personal freedom.

 

Type E : Type Es seek balance in their lives, and are hesitant to take risks. They are highly practical. The most ideal partner for Type Es is someone who cheerful and physically active.

Type F : Type Fs are kind people who are still very demanding and apt to complain when wronged. When Fs fall in love, they do so with all their heart, and are not likely to fall out of love. A person who is casual and not too stubborn is best suited to Fs.

 

Type G : Type Gs are gentle and warm-hearted, and often willing to make great sacrifices to help a friend in need, or even strangers. Because of this kind of personality, Type Gs are most happy with a person who is weaker and need to be taken care of by others.

 

Type H : Type Hs are much more persistent and patient than others, and usually are strongly ambitious. Type Hs are very conscientious and pay close attention to details when doing any kind of work. Partners who are not too talkative, but are similarly conscientious and serious are most suitable for Type Hs.

 

Type I : Type Is are usually women. They often behave like spoiled children, getting angry easily and refusing to listen to their partner. However, they are very kind. The best type of partner for Type Is is someone very strong, who won’t be discouraged by the way Type Is act.

 

Type J : Although Type Js don’t appear to be, they are extremely passionate. They often seem eccentric, and aren’t very talkative. However, in their innermost heart, they are very romantic and full of wild dreams. Kind and passionate partners are most compatible with Type Js, and only this kind of person can bring out the “real” personality of Type Js.

 

Type K : Type Ks are highly talented, and have strong personalities that make them stand out from other people. Partners who also have strong personalities are most compatible with Type Ks. Although Type Ks often argue over trivial matters, in the end they are usually able to find happiness in their love relationships.

 

 

Effects of praise on children

Filed under: Uncategorized — minimax @ 3:38 pm

 

What kind of a student were you in the fifth grade? What was your best subject? Do you honestly think you were smarter than most of your classmates? Do you think you studied harder, or less hard, than most of your classmates?

 

Source of article: http://www.nymag.com/news/features/27840

Source of video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVlIQpleZr8

 

 

 

 

assume : to accept something to be true without question or proof  • attempt : when you try to do something, especially something difficult  • backfire : (of a plan) to have the opposite result from the one you intended  • control : to order, limit, instruct or rule something, or someone’s actions or behavior  • cop-out : a way of avoiding doing something difficult or unpleasant that you should do, or the excuse that you use to do this  • design : to have as a plan or purpose  • discount : to decide that something or someone is not worth consideration or attention  • effect : the result of a particular influence  • emphasize : to show or state that something is particularly important or worth giving attention to  • focus : to give a lot of attention to one particular person, subject or thing  • intelligence : the ability to learn, understand and make judgments or have opinions that are based on reason  • involve : to include someone or something in something, or to make them take part in or feel part of it  • miserable : very unhappy  • praise : to express admiration or approval about the achievements or characteristics of a person or thing  • research : a detailed study of a subject, especially in order to discover (new) information or reach a (new) understanding  • respond : to say or do something as a reaction to something that has been said or done  • risk : to do something although there is a chance of a bad result  • significantly : noticeably  • stigmatize : to treat someone or something unfairly by disapproving of them  • suspect : to think or believe something to be true or probable  • sweat : to excrete a salty colorless liquid through the skin because you are hot, ill or frightened  • valid : based on truth or reason; able to be accepted

 

 

 

 

The researchers took a single child out of a fifth-grade class and gave him a test. Once the child had finished the test, the researchers told each student his score, and then gave him some praise. Some children were praised for their intelligence. They were told, “You must be smart at this.” Other students were praised for their effort: “You must have worked really hard.”

 

How do you think the effect of the two kinds of praise might have been different? Which kind of praise do you think is probably better? As a child, were you more often praised for being smart or for your effort? Which kind of praise do you, or would you, offer more often to your children?

 

 

 

 

Then the students were given a choice for the second test. One choice was a test that would be more difficult than the first, but the researchers told the kids that they would learn a lot from attempting it. The other choice, the researchers explained, was an easy test, just like the first. Of the children the researchers had praised for their effort, 90 percent chose the harder test. Of those the researchers had praised for their intelligence, most chose the easy test. The “smart” kids took the cop-out.

 

Why do you think there was such a big difference between the two groups of children? Can you explain why there is this difference? Which test do you think you would probably have chosen?

 

 

 

 

Why did this happen? When we praise children for their intelligence, we are giving them the message that its important to seem smart and not risk making mistakes. And that’s what the fifth-graders had done: They had chosen to look smart and avoid the risk of being embarrassed.

For the third test, none of the fifth-graders had a choice. The test was difficult, designed for kids two years ahead of their grade level. Predictably, everyone failed. But again, the two groups of children responded differently. Those who had been praised for their effort on the first test assumed they simply had not focused hard enough on this test. They got very involved, willing to try every solution to the test questions. Many of them told the researchers, “This is my favorite test.” Not so for those who had been praised for their smarts. They assumed their failure showed that they were not really smart at all. During the test, they were sweating and looked miserable.

 

Which test do you think you probably would have chosen? Do you often avoid risking mistakes so you wont look stupid? How much pressure do you feel to do well at work, at school, and among your friends and family? How much pressure do you feel during this class? Do you prefer if people around you do not have high expectations for how well you can do?

 

 

 

 

Having made the students suffer a failure, the researchers then gave all the fifth-graders a final test that was designed to be as easy as the first one. Those whom the researchers had praised for their effort significantly improved on their first score—by about 30 percent. Those whom the researchers had told were smart did worse than they had done at the very beginning—by about 20 percent.

The researchers had suspected that praise could backfire, but even they were surprised at how large the effect was. Effort is something that a child can control, and so children who are praised for effort come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and does not give children a good way to respond to a failure.

 

The researchers also found that children who think that intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids’ thinking goes, so I don’t need to put out effort. Making an effort becomes stigmatized—it just shows that you can’t succeed using your natural abilities.

 

Are you surprised by the results of the research? Do you think the results are probably valid? Do you feel that effort is more important than intelligence to success? Do you ever try to hide the effort you are makingfor example, to learn Englishto make it seem you are just using your natural abilities?

 

 

 

 

B+  |  knock out  |  report card  |  time-out

 

How would you describe the way this “mother” is encouraging her son to learn—is she praising his intelligence, praising his effort, or doing something else? Does she remind you of your own parents at all? Did your parents look at all of your report cards? How did they usually respond if they were good? How about if they were bad? Do you think there are many mothers like this one in Taiwan? Do you think her way of encouraging her son to learn is good?

 

 

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